Yes, it's happened, a mommy meltdown. It is so bittersweet knowing that Mac and Paisley are 10 days away from the anniversary of the day they changed our lives forever when they entered our world. {Pardon the run-on sentence, grammar friends.} Can it be? I know, I know, I say it often. Every month posting, picture and letter has led us to the 'one year', and now it's here.
What makes me most sad? It's the thought of them growing, first off. Their feet and toes won't always be so sweet to smother in kisses. They won't always think it's funny to blow on their belly. I've heard it time and again, and I believe it now more than ever- you're never ready to see them grow. As fast as this year went, I know that each year will pass even quicker, and Mr. Time doesn't care how hard I plant my feet where we are today.
As I prep for their first birthday party, I am surrounded by memories of our first year. Am I really wishing for sleepless nights? {Crazy, right??!} Oh, my babies, how much I've loved this year with you.
Bear with me as we scroll down memory lane:
August 2011.
August 17- In the hospital triage having urine tested for protein. I was having labor pains, but I wasn't sure what they were. I was given a concoction of drugs to make my body relax, and we went home a few hours later. On our way out, we saw Frances and Ben being admitted to birth Holden!
August 18- Wake up, my stomach feels blah. I don't want to eat {surprisingly, considering I could polish off a massive breakfast}. I work on thank you notes off and on, but I can't shake the yuck. I take a shower after The View hoping that will make me feel better. I sit in the shower chair {bed rest = no standing at all for me} and try to let the hot water relax me. It kind of worked.
1:30- I go to sit in the recliner temporarily moved into our room. I hadn't put the foot rest down, so I kind of leapt {the 230 lb body, ugh} into the chair and SPLAT. Water everywhere... Funny thing, Frances was hurried out of the labor and delivery room because all rooms were full, and her room was needed... by ME! Thanks, France!
August 19, 2011
I labored all night, and they were born at 5:21 and 5:42 am. I didn't get to have 'the moment' I had seen on TV or in pictures. {You know, the one where the mom makes eye contact with the baby and kisses him/her all over.} Dr. Roberts held Mac up briefly, and I asked why his face was bruised {ahem, because he spent over 2 months in my pelvic bone, that's why}. Then he had to get help with his breathing so he was taken aside.
Then it was time to push Paisley out. I wasn't ready. I needed a time out, but that wasn't granted. Nineteen minutes later {On August 19, mind you... I just realized this}, Paisley Grace was born. I only saw a limp baby for a half second. Then Jordan rushed to be by her as she was "bagged" as they say. She wasn't responsive when she was born- her APGAR was 2. This girl is resilient, however, and she bounced back with a bang! {In her own time, of course.}
At first Paisley came to the room with us, but her blood sugar couldn't be stabilized so she joined Mac in the nursery. Shortly after, we received a phone call that Paisley was being admitted to the NICU for observation and a sugar water IV. Her sugar level pendulum swung on the way to the NICU, and she only required IV fluids and monitoring in her time there.
Mac came to our room about an hour later. I'm not sure what was going on with him, but he came to me as soon as he could. It truly was a whirlwind, and I was plain exhausted.
Paisley was discharged from the NICU, and this is your first time together since birth :o)
Two days later, on August 21, we left Erlanger with TWO babies in our car!!
Our first week home!!!
One week old pediatric appointment!
Mac's horrible experience under the bili lights for jaundice- he and I both cried hysterically.
First {of many!} month pic
Thanks for the walk... and tears! :o)
as always,
ashley
